Saturday, July 7, 2018

Logan T.V. Series Cast





LOGAN, Series Lead. 30's, 5' 9". Former X-Men member, going back out on the road to hunt for his memories. He's rough around the edges and as a very serious anger management problem. Logan searches for purpose and to be whole inside. While a rough figure he has a distinct code of honor and Chivalry.

              ALFIE ALLEN, Notable Works: John Wick, Game of Thrones, and The Predator, Age: 31, Height: 5' 9". No doubt a divisive choice for the character. Alfie is a strong actor and has given a variety of strong performances. He has a good frame to build muscle but ontop of how good an actor he is, he has this look that reminds me a lot of the look Frank Miller and John Byrne have given him. He looks like he's old but in his prime. He looks like a jerk and to me that fit's Logan. There's no doubt he could delve into the character's depression and bring out something unique and fitting for the character. Alfie is by far my top choice to be the next Wolverine.



SABRETOOTH, Co-Lead Character, 40's, 6' 6". Logan's Sadistic rival and the architect of most of Logan's Misfortune. He is the true head of Weapon X, using it as a way to enhance his own mutant abilities and test the waters of Adamantium Bonding to Bone. With blank white eyes and his animalistic physique scares just about everyone who encounters him.

              JASON MOMOA, Notable Works: Game of Thrones, The Frontier, and Justice League, Age: 38, Height: 6' 4". Another divisive chouce but after seeing his work in frontier and seeing his overall size and approach there's no reason why he wouldn't be perfect. He's got the look of someone you just don't mess with. He's got the strength and the growl for the character. He would without a doubt be a fantastic Sabretooth.


 SILVER FOX, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 4". Logan's one true love. A Native American Mutant with similar powers to Logan and Sabretooth. She is a sweet soul and brings out the best in Logan, and the worst in Sabretooth.

              SONYA BALMORES, Notable Works: Soul Surfer, Marvel's Inhumans, and Den of Thieves, Age: 32, Height: 5' 4". While Inhumans was a misfire, Sonya was a solid performer in it. She's got great talent as an actress and has a natural sweet nature to her that would really fit my vision for Silver Fox.



MAVERICK, Supporting Character, 30's, 6' 2". Handsome, cavalier, Maverick is the model man for many and a hell of a Soldier. One of Logan's close friends, he aims to bury his demons with the dismantling of Weapon X.

LIAM MCINTYRE, Notable Works: Spartacus, The Flash, and Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay, Age: 36, Height: 6' 2". A favorite actor of mine, Liam has shown some great chops as an actor and fits for a character like Maverick. He's got a fun energy about him that makes him a perfect choice to take on a role like Maverick.



KESTREL, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 3". Smart and strong. An emotional rock Kestrel was alway one to break tension. Now a Born-Again christian he seeks to make the bad he did right, including helping Logan get his revenge for what was done.

DEMETRIUS GROSSE, Notable Works: Straight Outta Compton, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, and Rampage, Age: 37, Height: 6’ 2”. A good actor that i’ve grown fond of, Demetrius hasn’t had too many roles to let him shine and I think Kestrel would be perfect for him. He’s a hell of an actor and could certainly add flare to the role.



COLONEL WILLIAM STRYKER, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 2". Strong southern military Colonel. Responsible in part for Department H to secure U.S. Funding. Stryker is a bitter Racist seeing no Humanity in Mutants. He is the official Commanding Officer of Team X, and one of the leaders of Weapon X.

MICHAEL SHANNON, Notable Works: Take Shelter, Man of Steel, and Midnight Special, Age: 43, Height: 6’ 3”. Really he was the only actor I could think of for this role. He has such a Dynamic energy to him that it seemed impossible to think of anyone else. He’s a great actor and has really shown his stride. While it is doubtful he would take it, if he did he could take it places and make it a role that people seek to see returned to by Shannon. He would be perfect.



ARKADY GREGORIVICH, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 5". A russian Serial Killer and Assassin, he discovered latent Mutant Abilities making him very dangerous. This lead to his Capture by Team X and his transformation into Omega Red by Department H. For this he carries a very targeted hatred for Logan.

RYAN HURST, Notable Works: Sons of Anarchy, King & Maxwell, and Outsiders, Age: 42, Height: 6’ 4”. Ryan is a hell of an actor that has really shown some range and dedication. I think he has a good size to him and a good presence to take a character like Omega Red and really develop him into something unique.



PROFESSOR TRUETT HUDSON, Supporting Character, 50's, 5' 10". A genius and a sociopath. Professor Hudson follows the science till the science ends. He is facinated with Logan as a test Subject and aims to turn him into the Perfect weapon for Stryker.

RICHARD SAMMEL, Notable Works: Casino Royale, Inglorious Basterds, and The Strain, Age: 58, Height: 5’ 10”. An actor best known for selective projects and playing memorable characters, Sammel has the look and presence that are required to make a character like the Professor stand out as a character. Sammel is a good, strong choice for the role and would do well.



DR. ABRAHAM CORNELIUS, Supporting Character, 40's, 5' 11". Cornelius is a Scientist who seeks to make the world a better price. His idealism is what allows him to be corrupted by Professor Hudson and Weapon X, turning Cornelius into a much daker individual.

JASON LEE, Notable Works: Enemy of the State, Dreamcatcher, and The Incredibles, Age: 48, Height: 6’ 2”. Without a doubt an oddball choice, I’m a massive fan of Jason Lee. He’s been one of my favorite and most underrated actors i’ve seen. He’s done some drama, horor, and comedy and could really bring together aspects that make him perfect for Abraham Cornelius.



DR. CAROL HINES, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 10". Hines is an idealist who seeks to make the world a better place. She takes her position in the Weapon X program as a duty, hoping to keep the victims from experiencing pain ignorant to the intentions of the program.

CRISTIN MILIOTI, Notable Works: The Wolf of Wallstreet, How I Met Your Mother, and Fargo, Age: 32, Height: 5' 2”. Cristin has shown a wide range of characterization but what won me over was her ability to play caring and sympathetic characters. She has played good people and has has to use those characters to relate to others and that’s what I would look for in Dr. Hines. At her core, Hines cares about people and that is what I want portrayed.



DR. DALE RICE, Supporting Character, 50's, 6' 0". Dr. Rice is a good hearted individual but a low man on the Weapon X totem pole. He has a moral standing which leads to him making often unfortunate choices.

DONAL LOGUE, Notable Works: Blade, Grounded for Life, and Gotham, Age: 52, Height: 5’ 10”. Donal is another one of my favorites. He’s a hell of an actor and has done some fantastic work. He’s one of the most generally likeable actors in any project and really could be a great player and fun to add to the series. I’d certainly would want him in the series.



LINDSEY MCCABE, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 10". A P.I. and partner to Logan, as he operates under the name Patch in Madripoor. She joins him on the road to help him discover the secret behind the Weapon X Project. A sweetheart in spirit and a street smart fighter.

LAUREN COHAN, Notable Works: Supernatural, The Walking Dead, and Mile 22, Age: 36, Height: 5’ 7”. A fantastic actress who has been making waves with popular performances in The Walking Dead. Cohan has become the new It woman from the television world, eyed for a big career in feature films. She’s a strong actress and with her playing an unpowered but morally powerful and highly cabable character, she would really be able to put herself into the role and make the season 1 lasting character a main supporting voice.



JAMES HUDSON, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 2". Beyond the smoldering chin and Handsome veneer looks is a Man trying to be a good hero, feeling held back by his past. He is Wolverine's closest friend but may also have stabbed him in the back.

TEDDY SEARS, Notable Works: American Horror Story, The Flash, and 24: Legacy, Age: 41, Height: 6’ 3”. Sears was a fantastic addition to the Flash. His dual performance as “Jay” and Zoom was fantastic. He’s got the look and presence that would be perfect for Guardian. He’s a great actor and really the only person I could see in this role.



HEATHER HUDSON, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 9". James' wife. A loving woman dedicated to being the idol that she is percieved as, as a member of Alpha Flight. She can sense something troubling her Husband, and seeks to fix it.

MAGGIE GRACE, Notable Works: Lost, Taken, and Fear The Walking Dead, Age: 34, Height: 5’ 9”. An actress who has really been making waves since 2004. Giving consistent strong performances and giving a wide arrange of characters life, Maggie is no doubt an actress that could stand out and be the best pick for Vindicator.



WALTER LANGOWSKI, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 5". A man of science and fact, Walter was a bright star in Genetic research, until an incident transformed him into the massive Sasquatch. He serves Alpha Flight as muscle and mind.

ALEXANDER SKARSGARD, Notable Works: True Blood, Battleship, and The Legend of Tarzan, Age: 41, Height: 6’ 4”. A strong actor who has been consitant in strong performances, a wide range, and emotionally complicated roles. His work in Tarzan was the absolute decider in this pick. He’s got the ability to tap into an animalistic mode as well as keep civility. As Sasquatch i’d love to see him shake that line a bit.



EUGENE JUDD, Supporting Character, 50's, 3' 6". A kindly sage in the body fo a dwarf. Eugene's role as Puck keeps him in good spirit. He loves being a hero to the point of being almost oblivious to the troubles the team is facing.

MARTIN KLEBBA, Notable Works: Pirates of the Carribean {Franchise}, Mirror Mirror, and A Fish Tale, Age: 49, Height: 4’ 1”. There’s no doubt that out of short actors Martin is one of the most entertaining. He’s given fun and enjoyable performances and has been a constant among the public conscious. He’s a smart and creative actor and has all the makings to play a new and unique take on Puck.



MICHAEL TWOYOUNGMAN, Supporting Character, 40's, 5' 10". A doctor, a medic, The Shaman, Michael is a pacifist who seeks to only heal. He carries himself very modestly and even chides himself for not being willing to take more action to help the team in their battles.

ADAM BEACH, Notable Works: The Windtalkers, Flags of our Fathers, and Suicide Squad, Age: 45, Height: 6’ 0”. Adam is a strong and powerful voice among Native American actors. He’s given good performances and has kept himself in business for a long time. He’s got a fun presence about him that makes him an ability to play good comedic yet entirely competent characters. He would be able to make Shaman a good hearted character and not betray the comic book character.



NARYA, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 10". The Snowbird, a child of magic fully grown as the sworn protector of Canada. She steeps herself in mystic truths and acts as a sage for Shaman. Narya has joined Alpha Flight on the promise they become the guardians of Canada.

ALYSSA SUTHERLAND, Notable Works: The Devil Wears Prada, Vikings, and The Mist, Age: 35, Height: 5’ 11. A capable and smart actress, Alyssa is unlike many others. She has a spirit to her performances and a way of playing characters that made her really the only choice for Snowbird.



THOMAS FIREHEART, Supporting Character, 30's, 6' 2". Former member of Alpha Flight who has turned sour on the team. He sees them as little more than pawns and focuses his blame squarley on James. He is willing to kill anyone to bring their crimes to light.

MICHAEL MANDO, Notable Works: Rookie Blue, Better Call Saul, and Spider-Man: Homecoming, Age: 36, Height: 5’ 9”. A strong actor and a fresh face among Marvel fans. He’s a good actor and has a strong future as Scorpion in the MCU. He’s a smart actor and has worked a lot with television and really fits the template I imagine for a reinvented take on Fireheart.



THE WENDIGO, Supporting Character, N/A, 6' 11". A creature cursed to wonder the Canadian wilderness, protecting it from the influence of man. The Wendigo has been captured and controlled by Fireheart as a way to battle Alpha Flight.

DEREK MEARS, Notable Works: Friday the 13th, Predators, and The Flash, Age:46, Height: 6’ 5”. Derek is a costume actor and he’s one of the best. Giving him such a horror based character to play in a Marvel project would have the potential to utalize some of his abilities at their full potential and would be very fun to see Mears in that environment.



YASHIDA MARIKO, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 0". Daughter of Black Hand leader Shingen, Mariko is a strong willed woman who seeks exile from her Father's empire. She sees the good in people and wants to turn the Yashida Name into something honorable.

KAREN FUKUHARA, Notable Works: Suicide Squad, Craig of the Creek, and She-Ra: Princess of Power, Age: 26, Height: 5’ 2”. A new face, having been known best as Katana in Suicide Squad, Karen is a hell of an actress. Looking at her moments and her movements there is something about her that makes her an ideal choice for Mariko. She’s got the spirit and would certainly be able to own the role without question.



YUKIO, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 9". Bodyguard to Mariko, strong willed and stern. Yukio was raised by the Black Hand but shares a vision of the future without it. This leads to considering Mariko more than an assignment but a sister as well.

CONSTANCE WU, Notable Works: Eastsiders, Fresh off the Boat, and All The Creatures Were Stirring, Age: 36, Height: 5’ 4”. An odd choice for such an action packed and dark role, Constance is really proving her talents. Fresh off the Boat is giving an idea of her full potential and I think she could certainly hang with such an action oriented role. She would be great.



HARADA SHINGEN, Supporting Character, 70's, 5' 10". Mariko's Father, Crime Lord and leader of the Black Hand. Shingen took hold over the Yashida family and Fortune. This has given Shingen a grip over crime only jeopardized by the waring members of the Yakuza.

CARY HIROYUKI-TAGAWA, Notable Works: Mortal Kombat, The Man in the High Castle, and Lost In Space, Age: 67, Height: 5’ 11”. Between is roles in The Man in the High Castle and Mortal Kombat it can’t be any type of suprise. This may not be an entirely original choice but it is the Perfect choice. Tagawa is a legendary actor and absolutely the best choice for Shingen.



HARADA KENIUCHIO, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 6". First born and disgarded son of Shingen. Keniuchio has taken his father's actions against him and his mother as an afront. and has sworn vengeance a motivation that lead him to control the Yakuza as The Silver Samurai.

DANIEL WU, Notable Works: New Police Story, Into The Badlands, and Tomb Raider, Age: 43, Height: 6’ 0”. A hell of an actor that has really proven himself as a performer. His work in Into the Badlands has proven he has the metal to play such a dark and complicated character as Silver Samurai and remains my top choice for the role.



KIMURA ASANO, Supporting Character, 40's, 5' 9". A detective and long time friend of Logan's. Asano seeks to bring down the Black Hand and the Yakuza down as a way of proving his honor. He puts the letter of the law in top regard, but sees cracks in the system.

JOHN CHO, Notable Works: Star Trek {Franchise}, Columbus, and The Excorcist, Age: 46, Height: 5’ 10”. An actor that has followed the template going from Comedy to Drama, He’s proven himself. He’s a strong actor capable of bringing in serious more focused characters and along with his comedic background he makes for a good foil to occasionally break Logan’s abbrasive attitude.



LORD OGUN, Supporting Character, 50's, 5' 9". Former mentor to Logan, he assisted Logan in getting his life and his purpose back years ago. Ogun sits as a wizard of men, possessing knowledge thousands of years old. He is impartial in all conflict, helping whoever seeks him.

RICK YUNE, Notable Works: Die Another Day, Ninja Assassin, and Marco Polo, Age: 46, Height: 6’ 0”. Rick Yune is one of those actors I love to see pop up in different projects. He makes for an interesting appearance and often plays unique and wide ranged characters. There’s no doubt he would have fun as Lord Ogun and could really ad a spark of fun to the show.



HIDEKI NOBORU, Supporting Character, 40's, 5' 0". Corrupt cop and all around ruthless individual. He hates Logan, having very racist views towards any 'Gaijin.' He is set to marry Mariko and become 2nd in command of the Black Order and climing the political ladder.

CHIN HAN, Notable Works: The Dark Knight, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and Ghost in the Shell, Age: 48, Height: 5’ 9”. Chin is pretty much the first, last, and only actor I could envision for this role. He’s a strong actor and really takes to play roles like this and while it is airing more on the side of typecasting he would certainly play it very well.



OYAMA YURIKO, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 7". An assassin raised in the Yakuza system, Her Brother was Dr. Kenji Oyama, a scientist who learned how to bond adamantium to bone. She blames Wolverine for her brother's death, having turned herself into Deathstrike.

KEIKO KITAGAWA, Notable Works: The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift, Paradise Kiss, and Segodon, Age: 31, Height: 5’ 3”. A surprising find, Keiko is a strong actress and has shown some real prowess and power in her performances. She’s got a look and a movement too her that would be perfect for a character like Lady Deathstrike.



SHISHIDO TOMI, Supporting Character, 40's, 6' 3". An assassin born from nothing seeking the power of Black Hand and the Yakuza. He leads the Red Lords, a dangerous new gang. Wolverine is a neutral party to him but he understands Wolverine is in the way of his goals.

LEE BYUNG-HUN, Notable Works: G.I. Joe {Franchise}, I Saw The Devil, The Magnificent Seven, Age: 47, Height: 5’ 10. Lee is a wonderful actor, unparalleled in his work as an actor. He's made massively entertaining films as well as doing great films in the United States. He's certainly an actor that can do the role of Gorgon and make it one of the best performances of his career. He's certainly got the talent to play this role and can certainly make a massive impact on The Series.



THE NATIVE, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 4". A Clone of Silver Fox by an Organization Department X. An animilastic woman, evolved with Bone Claws and a healing factor. The Native seeks to discover who she is, tracking the memories of Silver Fox and another mutant.

SONYA BALMORES, Notable Works: Soul Surfer, Marvel's Inhumans, and Den of Thieves, Age: 32, Height: 5' 4". With the character being a clone of Silver Fox, with elements of Remus thrown in. Sonya is the natural pick for the role. She would be able to stand out more and it feels only right considering how short lived Silver Fox would be in the series, to let Sonya have a more action oriented role to have fun with.



DR. XANDER RICE, Supporting Characters, 40's, 6' 1". A corrupt scientist and scientific head of Department X. He uses his 'monsters' in an attempt to kill Wolverine. He is backed by a mysterious figure, who intend to benefit on the back of Xander's research.

BEN MCKENZIE, Notable Works: The O.C., Southland, and Gotham, Age: 39, Height: 5’ 8”. I understand this is by far a weird choice. Ben has shown some talent and has really shined as an actor to the point I want to see him go dark and dive into more twisted characters. This a tie to his Gotham co-star in this, it would without a doubt be a fun an unique performance to Ben to give.



BIRDY, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 8". Sabretooth's assistant, a mutant with a unique ability to help supress emotion or rages. She cares for Sabretooth having seen the pain inside him, locking her into what could be seen as an abusive relationship for her boss.

HILARIE BURTON, Notable Works: White Collar, Naughty or Nice, and Lethal Weapon, Age: 36, Height: 5’ 7”. A wonderful actress who has shown some range and style in her performances that make her stand out. Her work in Lethal Weapon is fun, and her work in White Collar is emotional. There’s no doubt her work has her perfectly suited to portray a character like Birdy, the only person Sabretooth lets in emotionally.



X-23, Supporting Character, Teens, 5' 1". Direct clone of Wolverine, Mutated for further enhancements. An angry child unsure of her place in the world, and scared. She escapes the Department X Facility, seeking to find her way in life after getting revenge against Dr. Rice.

JODELLE FERLAND, Notable Works: Silent Hill, The Unspoken, and Dark Matter, Age: 23, Height: 5’ 2”. For as long as i’ve cast the character of X-23 i’ve used Jodelle. She’s a fantastic actress and has always been what I envisioned the character of X-23 being like. Even more so then now would I use her, as she is different then Dafne Keen, who gave an excellent performance. Jodelle would be absolutely perfect for this take on X-23.



REMUS, Supporting Character, 30's, 6' 6". Sister of the mysterious Romulus. A protector of Mutants, she seeks to see her brother killed. She looks after X-23. She's watched over Wolverine since he was a child, even masquerading as his former tutor named Rose.

MILLA JOVOVICH, Notable Works: The Fifth Element, Resident Evil {Franchise}, and Future World, Age: 42, Height: 5’ 9”. One of my favorite actresses even from child hood. The Fifth Element was a legendary film that has shown her to be one of the most wide-ranged actresses working. Her work is exciting and energetic. She is fantastic with accents and would without a doubt set the precedent for who Remus is.



KYLE GIBNEY, Supporting Character, 30's, 5' 8". Pet to henchmen to Romulus, known as Wild Child. Gibney was once an experiment that was saved by the being he calls Master. He's had his run ins with Wolverine and Sabretooth, only ever having been afraid of Sabretooth.

ELIJAH WOOD, Notable Works: Lord of the Rings {Franchise}, Sin City, and Maniac, Age: 37, Height: 5’ 6”. Elijah is a highly talented actor. He’s shown a wide arrange of role that delve into deep differnt areas. I think he should play a character like this. I think it’s a role he’s been waiting for being something so different then anything he’s done before.



AKIHIRO DAKEN, Supporting Character 30's, 5' 9". Child of Wolverine and Silver Fox, he was ripped from his mother's stomach and raised in Japan by abusive parents. trained by Romulus, Daken is a person with a massive chip on his shoulder and a hatred for everyone.

ALEX MERAZ, Notable Works: The New World, Suicide Squad, and Animal Kingdom, Age: 33, Height: 5’ 11”. An odd choice but with how Daken is reenvisioned in the series and how close he looks to the character ontop of how good an actor he is, Meraz was a pretty simple choice for the role. There’s no doubt he could rip the character right off the page and play him perfectly.



ROMULUS, Supporting Character, 50's, 7' 0". A Mutant older than Ancient Rome. Believing himself to be a god. He sees Sabretooth and Wolverine as the closest thing he can have to brethren. He intends to become the perfect being and a perfect ruler to take over the world.

RAY STEVENSON, Notable Works: Rome, Punisher War Zone, and Thor {Trilogy}, Age: 54, Height: 6’ 4”. Ray was really the only actor I could see in the role. He’s got this massive frame and dominating presence, he’s great at playing dark and complicated characters and letting himself go into it. He’s really got the presence needed for a role like Romulus and there’s no doubt he could pull it off perfectly.



OPHELIA SARKISSIAN, Supporting Characer, 30's, 5' 9". A genetic terrorist known as Viper, Ophelia grew up in a Black Widow-Esq Hydra Program known as Octopus. She is a nihilist and a sociopath. She only serves her greater good, which includes killing Wolverine.

SYLVIA HOEKS, Notable Works: Overspel, Berlin Station, and Blade Runner 2049, Age: 35, Height: 5’ 9”. An absolute fantastic stand out from Blade Runner 2049, I had to put her in here. Putting together the story there were a few characters she could have been but the one she fit the most was Viper. With what she’s done in Blade Runner I want to see more of her and I want to see her take a more expanded role and taking a role like Viper would be a perfect match for her potential and to see how she reacts to such a highly-insane concept for a character.



SENATOR GRAYDON CREED, Supporting Character, 30's, 6' 2". The human son of Sabretooth, a bitter racist and bigot who founded the Friends of Humanity. He takes a strong anti-mutant position as Senator. Praying on people's fears and ashamed of his past.

RICHARD MADDEN, Notable Works: Games of Thrones, Cinderella, and Ibiza, Age: 32, Height: 5’ 10”. A hell of an actor with a great performance record. He’s given his all and has played some varied characters but I don’t imagine any of them has been as morally dark or as out and out Racist as Graydon Creed. He’s a strong actor that pulls in audiences and could really build a tragic story that could make the audience hate and sympathize with his character at the same time and for Graydon to work and there’s no doubt it would with Richard.



SENATOR HENRY GYRICH, Supporting Character, 50's, 5' 9". A cold calculated politician very willing to screw anyone over. He sees the Friends of Humanity as allies supporting his anti-mutant stance. He seeks to use his power to reinstate the Sentinal Protocol.

MICHAEL EMERSON, Notable Works: Saw, Persons of Interest, and Arrow, Age: 63, Height: 5’ 8”. Emerson was the first name that really came to the fold for Gyrich. He’s a strong actor and honestly looks a lot like the character. Emerson is a highly talented actor and could no doubt pull it off and deliver a strong perfromance that would be memorable.



Saturday, October 21, 2017

Personal Feelings and Desires.

I am going through a divorce. I am 24/25 years old and at a point in my life where what I am going through is significantly. So significant to the point it affects my mood, my internal perception, as well as things such as basic desires of sleeping and eating and interest and hobbies. Seven months ago I was happy, even grateful, to stay home and relax. Now I can’t stand to be home. While i require my own sense of solitude and personal time of reflection or explore hobbies, Now more than ever I hate going home. I have no interest in staying home for extended periods but I have really no choice outside of it, not yet at least. I often find myself wondering about dating and to be honest I never really enjoyed dating. I enjoyed going out on dates with someone I knew or loved, but doing it with someone new for the first time is by far the most frustrating concept. Anymore it’s like a job interview, and you’re not always sure if it’s a job you want or you wonder why you’re participating.

It’s stressful. Especially in today’s society. Anymore a Man can really be all but dehumanized by the interaction in so many ways. Just by asking someone out, we’re in a societal double standard. Sometimes this double standard is on both ends but it’s almost entirely discouraged on one end and encouraged on the other. You get to the point where, if a Large Male of questionable attractiveness asks a Thin beautiful woman out, she is likely to say ‘no.’ which is never the problem. The problem goes when her friends publicly demonize that man for asking the woman out. While if a man who is thin attractive turns down a date from a larger woman, he is demonized from her friends again for being a creep or a jerk. Not to say that the man isn’t encircled around friends who do the same, but if the men are overheard doing this they are demonized. Now this isn’t something i’ve encountered personally, but I have seen hundreds of examples from it.

This whole notion scares me. I am already questioning my own sense of self-worth and my own sense of attractiveness to others. In fact I would say I am constantly questioning it to the point where it often drives me crazy. That’s the trade off I find in attempting to find something in the style relationship style interaction. When it comes to dating that pressure is worse. And I am certainly at a point where it scares me to go on a date. A date is suppose to be two people doing a fun activity or in some sort of gathering (i.e. restaurant or coffee shop) and talking about each other. A trade off in that they ask about you, you ask about them. Then you really see what the compatible features are as well as the internal workings of viewpoints. Most often they all clash in numerous ways but the ways that connect seem to mean more. The date is frustrating anymore. Anymore it’s balancing an enjoyable activity, learning about the other person, giving them adequate information about yourself and hoping you like them, and hoping more they like you. It becomes a series of interviews where you’re constantly throwing around your qualities and discovering theirs, except a job interview is a bit more straightforward in approach.  Anymore it takes only a couple times for anyone to really know whether they’re gonna click with someone and often the other person is always profoundly caught in the storm and excitement of it all that the completely dissociate the idea of not having a connection.

Coming into a time where I am separated from something I have been apart of for the last 6 years is a scary notion and I am going to waters that are entirely frightening. I can be happy about myself but when you’re with someone for a long amount of time it seems there is a developed eco-dependance. A need for someone there to understand you and comfort you. Most of the time this notion is often confused with sexual tension, which is certainly at it’s highest coming out of something. But I find myself unsure if a full relationship is the right step for me to take. I know my own limitations as a physical person, what is and isn’t going to happen. I know that even if my heart was in it that sleeping around isn’t what I would really want or need. I find myself at a point, due to numerous stressors where I need a person more or less there for emotional comfort. It takes me back to a time in my marriage where things felt the best, and I had felt comfort in being held a night and holding someone at night. It was an emotional security of acceptance and knowledge that, as things develop, will be alright.

So anymore I find myself needing to have those times where i can lay with someone who understands my struggles as a full time working parent and offer acceptance and understanding. It’s something I am certain is nowhere to be found, but it is something that I can certainly say outloud that I am needing. Some will probably argue that I need a relationship or I just need sex and I don’t necessarily agree with that. Not to say those things aren’t ideal to have, but I don’t know in what way i could manage that psychologically (and wouldn’t be able to, honestly, until it happened.) We all have our desires and needs and I certainly feel mine veer closer to stereotyped males than I’d probably like.

I think if anything being as upfront and honest about what I need is going to help calm me down and allow me to adjust a little bit better. I have no illusions that I will gain anything of the sort. I have no confidence that I will find a relationship or anything more than a friendship, based on numerous factors of my life, situation, and overall output. At best what I can do is be honest with myself, try to muster courage where I can find it and try to move on. At worst i can be told ‘No.’ and not really think beyond that. Either way i find it scary to go forward in any sense because I am constantly fighting uphill battles with myself. I devote as much time as possible to my kid because that is all I really feel like I have left. I know there’s a lot my kid can do for me and a lot he can’t, and I know i feel a lot of the needs of stuff he can’t do like empathise and understand the stress I am going through.

At its core what i am seeking is to be held, to hold, and to be understood. If that can happen that would be the most beneficial thing I could imagine in life right now, and if it develops to something even better. But i refuse to disallusion myself and think that it is going to happen, because in all likelihood it won’t. So i try to go in with as little expectations as possible and hope for the best.


Friday, July 14, 2017

Masters of the Universe Fancast

This stands as my take on a Masters of the Universe Film Adaptation. The Idea is to build an epic mythos liken to Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, while also having a more barbarian edge with a strict PG-13 rating. I want to reinvent the He-Man mythos to bring out the more sustainable qualities and update it in a way that really fits the material without being disrespectful towards it. 

I call this: The Legend of He-Man Trilogy

Friday, August 5, 2016

Updates on happenings

I need to be on here more. I've been pretty distracted and frankly that's not a good excuse. I'll try to put some content on here unique to this specific blog. I also have been working on some personal projects that once finished should be pretty cool. Stay tuned for that.  Otherwise I might review films here, Maybe get some editing software and try that out, I've been wanting to try some editing for a while.

All Star Batman Casting Choices